A 2014 Farewell~

Well, if you purport to be a blog about the final year in a life, you reeeaaally shouldn't skip 4 months.  Sorry.  No excuse.  Just general sorriness.  To make up, I've decided to extend my existence a while, at least till fall '15.  I been feelin' better.  Sadly, I missed several dramatic blogs that would have intensely covered my bad late-August fall.  I'll wait for a no-ideas day soon & act like it's just happened, I figure.

Today's last-second 2014 entry is  for my Aunt (big sis) Donna, who we lost a few weeks ago.  Y'all, depression is a serious problem for many & if you know someone in trouble, try to get help.

Health.com

Anxiety Disorders Association of America

WebMD

This was the letter I wrote for her memorial service.  

Letter, Unwritten

for drc

My first memories of you aren’t even of a person, but a force of sound & energy moving swiftly thru the old farmhouse.  You’d fly in, there’d be a flurry, & you’d be gone again.  I didn’t know just what had happened but I kinda liked it.  Somewhere along the way, I realized you were, against all intuition, FAMILY.  I identified the stereo as a focal point of yours & so started hanging out there, going thru your 45s, learning the music you liked, hoping to chat a bit on your next pit stop.  And it worked!  Soon, we were sharing eye rolls as Grampaw railed against whatever song was on.  ‘I’ve Been Hurt’ by Bill Deal & The Rhondels was our favorite; it could produce such contortions, gyrations & mocking from the man, we had to laugh, even tho he was MAD.  Really, I think HE liked it too.  Later, you gave me that stack of music & I kept & cared for that treasure like it was the Holy Grail.  ‘Double Shot of my Baby’s Love’, ‘Daydream Believer’, ‘Incense & Peppermints’.  Our songs.

It was a great day when you came to live with Mom & me in Birmingham; having my ‘big sister’ around every day.  Playing games, building models, lying on the floor watching Kung Fu, helping out with homework.  The homework was YOURS, with me helping you learn Bell’s punchcard computer system.  Waking me up by singing, fighting with our parakeet Tweety, whispering ‘cock-a-doodle-DOO-ooh’ in my ear, or by sitting on me still wet from the shower.  We’d go shopping, out to eat or visit the farm in your beloved purple Gremlin.  Sometimes you’d take me to inappropriate movies & we’d drive around afterwards while you answered questions.  One night I really HAD to get home but you stopped a couple places first.  I finally just peed all over the seat—I guess I was too dumb to get OUT of the car—and instead of getting mad, you just smiled and said, “Well you TRIED to tell me, didn’tcha?”  When I got a microscope, you stabbed your thumb to make a blood slide.  When I got a kite, you ran the pasture like a crazy person trying to make it fly.  When I got in trouble for long hair at school, I had to beg to keep you from giving them what-for. 

For some inexplicable reason, you’d often take me on your dates.  Lord knows what those poor guys thought, but they went along with it, of course.  Yeah, you were a looker.  My popularity & cool-factor got much-needed boosts whenever you dropped me or picked me up at school.  I’d play with cousins…our bike were motorcycles, the porch was the gas station we owned.  We’d tear around like fools, screech up to work, then talk about our girlfriends.  Mine was always named Donna.  One day, the unthinkable—you were getting married!  Mom had to work but I had to BE there so someone came & got me.  I don’t know what I expected, but I think you were supposed to see ME & call the whole thing off!  Well, you got married & started a new life, and I was sound enough to understand & move on as well.  But you left a big mark on me & I found one a whole lot LIKE ya.

You were so important in my life—you taught me how to drive, for Pete’s sake! You took me for my license...SEVERAL times!  You loved my every attempt at art. When you found pieces I'd stuck away, you took them & put them on your walls!  You’re a vital part of who I became.  Part child, part hippy, part iconoclastic warrior, part lovable goofball.  I hope you knew that.  How important you are.  If not, I’ll tell you all about it next time I see you.  Pick me up in the Gremlin, I’ll bring the tunes.